Dialoguing with Your Inner Child
Posted by learning | Filed under Emotional Healing, Inner Child Work, Spiritual Evolution, Spiritual Growth
Greetings from Learning To Flow!
This week, we are taking the next step forward in creating our sustainable spiritual practice by learning about the inner child. I will explain what the term “Inner child” means and why it is so important.
Each of the steps in our spiritual practice tie together so we will continue to build on the fundamental practices of feeling our feelings and being in the now. We have to be in the now to face our feelings and we have to be practicing feeling them in order to be willing to face our inner child’s deepest fears and pain.
It is so important to understand that the pain we carry within us is manifesting what we experience as our “problems” in life and until we release these energies from our being and replace them with a reflection of who and what we really are, our world will not change.
Being a man, I know how resistant the ego is to taking this kind of step. My ego told me that doing something like this was silly and wouldn’t have any impact. But phase I of the shift from an ego-based consciousness to a heart-based consciousness is the realization that ego methods are not working sufficiently and we long for more.
I encourage you to take this important step on your journey, to surrender to the necessity of it and allow your inner child’s messages to flow.
Namaste
Jeff Scholl
Quote of the Week:
“We originally established our protections as children in an attempt to protect ourselves from pain that was too overwhelming for our little beings…As adults, that pain is still within the Inner Child and we may still be protecting against it. As long as we choose to protect against it, the work we must do to avoid that pain controls our lives.” Margaret Paul, PH.D. in “Inner Bonding”
Dialoguing with the Inner Child
This week, we’re going to talk about working with the inner child. In the Self-Mastery process, I learned a method called Self-Parenting. In “Inner Bonding,” Margaret Paul teaches her own form of this method and establishes a two-way dialogue with our inner child. I am going to explain how I have learned to dialogue with my own inner child, how this has helped me to grow and evolve as a soul and what benefits I’ve experienced as a result.
Before we get too far into this subject, let’s clear up what this term “inner child” means since many people feel uncomfortable at first with this term. The inner child is essentially our emotional body. It is the part of us in which our emotions are felt and stored or actually repressed. When we have an experience that triggers our repressed emotional energy it is our “inner child” that cries foul. The emotional energy is triggered and starts coming to the surface. If we are identified with that pain AS us or we are primarily identified with our minds, then we do not understand that it is not only normal and natural for those feelings to come to the surface, it is necessary that they do so.
When we are triggered, all that is happening is that this repressed emotional energy has attracted a situation for the purpose of evolving our soul. When we learn to recognize that this is what is happening and open a dialogue with this energy through the symbolic visualization of communicating with our inner child, then we can let go of those feelings more easily and replace them with feelings of love, acceptance and security. When our inner child feels safe and secure, our vibration is raised and we experience the reflection of that higher vibration in our life experiences. In effect, we are clearing out the blockages in our emotional body which is imprinted upon our soul in this lifetime.
So again, it is important to note that what has happened in this lifetime did not “cause” these energies to be there. What happened to us with our parents, teachers, siblings, etc was a reflection of the energies…or the agenda we brought in with us. When we can detach ourselves enough from the perspective that we are this person who all of these bad things have happened to in our lives and start identifying ourselves primarily as a soul who is simply continuing our evolution in this lifetime, then we are able to move forward in that growth more easily.
Visualizing the inner child as being the one who has all of these upset emotions allows us to detach ourselves from identifying with the emotions and/or the thoughts that spring from these emotions. We are then able to be who we really are…a soul who is expressing our unique energy in a human form.
When I learned how to create this conversation with my “inner child,” pretty quickly I didn’t feel so attached to these emotions. I didn’t feel like they were mine. I just felt like they were being expressed through me. This is an important distinction as being able to see myself as the “observer” of the triggers and the resulting emotions has helped me to understand “why” my inner child is upset. It has helped me to validate that he has a right to feel angry, sad, frustrated, etc and to give him permission to feel it. This distinction between me and my inner child also allows me to create a safe space which allows him to let go of his repressed emotions. I can then see myself as his parent and giving him what he needs to feel which is loved, accepted and safe. And when he feels that…I feel it in my heart. As a result, I am feeling safer and more loved in my life…not because the outside world is giving it to me…but because I have the power to give myself this feeling.
But in doing so, it has changed my vibration significantly. I do feel safer and more confident in my life and I am seeing more people reflect acceptance and appreciation for who I am back to me. Another side effect is that I am experiencing an explosion of creativity for what I want to create in my life and what I want to write about. Right now I have more topics to write about than I have time, so my next project is to create more time to write.
For more on how to dialogue with your inner child, go to the “Spiritual Exercise of the Week.”
© Jeffrey L. Scholl 2009. All rights reserved.
www.learningtoflow.com
Spiritual Exercise of the Week
When you become aware that you are upset or fearful about something, find a place where you can get quiet and explore these feelings.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths…slowly inhaling and exhaling.
Scan your body with your awareness and feel for where you feel this energy in your body. Notice what it feels like and put all of your focus on just feeling it there.
Then see a younger version of yourself there. Notice what age your inner child is and ask him/her what she is feeling…and wait for an answer.
Then when you have that answer, ask them why they are feeling that. Let this energy tell you why this is coming up right now.
Validate your inner child by telling them that it is normal to feel that way.
So for example if your boundaries have been violated in some way, you need to validate your inner child that it is normal to feel angry when this happens. By doing so you are giving them permission to feel what they feel.
Most of us were never validated so this may take practice or you may need to have a coach help you with this prior to being able to get really good at this.
Once your inner child feels safe to feel what she/he is feeling, you may feel a strong rush of emotion. Whatever pain you have been experiencing may get significantly more intense. This is normal.
Just recognize what is happening and instead of running from it…breathe directly into the center of that pain. Inhale deeply and forcefully exhale. You may have to do this several times, but you will start to feel this energy coming up and out of you.
Some people say it helps to see the pain as a dark area and see themselves breathing light directly into that area. They then see the light breaking up the dark area and turning into a dark mist that they are exhaling…kind of like what happens in “The Green Mile.”
There is no right or wrong thing to see or experience. Allow yourself to create something that works for you.
After you release your pain, tell your inner child how courageous he/she is and tell them how much you love them. Give them a big hug and help them to feel safe.
Take a few moments and just practice feeling that love in your heart…and then open your eyes!
This may seem like a very simple exercise, but you will be surprised
Physical Exercise for Your Inner Child
Once you’ve established a dialogue with your inner child, maintain that dialogue and ask her/him what she wants to do to have fun.
Be willing to accept any answer that comes…whether it’s to go play on a playground, go to an amusement park or go dancing.
Be willing to go with whatever answer comes and allow yourself to have fun!
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