Archive for the ‘Spiritual Relationships’ Category
Applying the Seven Spiritual Truths in Your Life – Truth # 3
Posted by learning | Filed under Emotional Healing, Forgiveness, Law of Attraction, Self Realization, Spiritual Evolution, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Relationships
Greetings from Learning To Flow!
This week, we will explore the all important Spiritual Truth # 3 of being able to understand that our enemies are our teachers.
It takes a high degree of consciousness to separate our perceptions from what is really happening, so this is something that must be practiced.
But the more you intellectually understand what your “enemies” represent in your life, the faster you can heal and start creating what you DO want to experience.
Namaste
Jeff
Quote of the Week
“Remember, your “so called” enemies will keep reappearing in your life until you learn the lesson that they have come to teach you” – Hu Dalconzo “Self-Mastery: A Journey Home to Your Self”
You have no enemies…
Truth Three:
You Have No Enemies…just Lessons.
This can be a difficult lesson to understand because we are born into this world tied to our ego mind which is filled with the karmic energies we came to work on in this lifetime.
Our ego tells us that if we are to feel better, we need to change what someone else is doing, saying or not doing or saying. We have been programmed all of our lives to believe that we change our lives by convincing someone else to change so that we feel better. But this is a denial of who and what we are. It is also only a short term fix.
So for example, if I dislike my joy and I change jobs hoping that my new job, new manager or new co-workers will change how I feel, I am only trading one situation for another. The new place may feel better for a little while as my optimism may carry me for awhile, but if I have not dealt with the anger that surfaced at my old job, or the fear and anxiety that surfaced again and again, I am sure to experience it again.
Others are simply the mirror to our own pain. It is our perceptions of them that cause our “problems.” Our perceptions are created by the karmic energies we brought into this life to work out and are anchored in this life by the life experiences we had in childhood.
Our parents can often seem like the greatest enemies we have.
But in order to heal this, we must take a step back and recognize who we really are. We are NOT the sons, daughters, wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, friends, engineers, teachers, etc. These are the roles we chose to play in this lifetime. They are the backdrop to the grand play we are in. They provide the opportunity for us to experience the drama of life.
We ARE Divine Vibrational Beings. Whatever we focus our attention (vibration) upon grows in strength and power. So when we focus upon something we do not like, that situation grows and we experience more of that.
And we came into this life with a karmic agenda. Many of us brought all of our past life karma into this life. We chose VERY difficult paths of abuse, abandonment, shame and feelings of inadequacy so that we could remember who and what we truly are and transcend ALL of it.
Our parents, caretakers, teachers, spouses and friends agreed to soul contracts with us so that we and THEY could experience the dramas of life in order to realize experientially who and what we truly are. Some of us are awakening to who and what we are faster than others. This can be confusing for us because others are still enmeshed in their dramas.
So when we look out at our world, the way we start to differentiate between our drama and their drama is by how WE feel. If we feel bad in any way, then the responsibility is ours to heal it. If someone else is feeling it, it’s their responsibility to heal it.
Only you can think YOUR thoughts, feel YOUR feelings, heal your SELF, choose to let it go, choose to visualize what you do want, etc. And only THEY can do that for themselves as well.
When you start to see your “enemies” as your mirror to what you most need to heal…you can silently bless them for keeping their soul contract and let them go.
Then you can turn your attention inward to forgive yourself and others and finally release your emotional karmic burdens.
You can then understand what the drama was really about…your healing.
Practice of the Week
Think of someone you feel angry, frustrated with or perhaps even hurt by.
Does the situation you feel with them seem to happen to you again and again?
If so, understand that this is simply the Law of Attraction in action. It is working 24/7 in response to the energies YOU carry.
So think of this person again and tell them in your mind how you feel…then forgive them.
Forgive them because you don’t want to carry these feelings any longer. Be willing to release everything you feel is the “evidence” of WHY you are justified to feel as you do.
Remember that the Course in Miracles says, “Do you want to be right…or do you want to be happy?”
As long as you want or feel the NEED to be right, you cannot heal. You have to be willing to completely let of of all of it.
For understand that while in this life, you may have been the victim…in other lives you were the offender…maybe even in this life…maybe even something you did unconsciously that hurt someone else.
What you are feeling is simply your own karmic energy coming back to you.
So forgive yourself first and then the other person. The other person is simply your mirror showing you what you have been at some point, allowing you to feel both sides of the energetic equation.
Forgive yourself for it was all part of the growth experience, to KNOW yourself as the Divine being you are.
You were simply learning what power was, what love was, what peace was and how to manifest all of it.
Forgive yourself first…then others.
© Jeffrey L. Scholl 2010. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this transmission on the condition that the content remains complete and intact, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely.
www.learningtoflow.com
LTF Weekly Newsletter – Feb. 27th, 2009
Posted by learning | Filed under Communication, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Relationships
Greetings!
We are wrapping up a month long focus on Spiritual Relationships in this issue by exploring “Responsibility Communication.”
“Responsibility Communication is a communication technique for people who seek to build a consciously, awakened spiritual relationship.”
All of our relationships are truly Spiritual Relationships. When we become conscious of this and use our relationships for this purpose, we begin to infuse more joy and love into them. And then we begin to truly understand the purpose each relationship serves in our lives.
Namaste
Jeff & Pratima Scholl
Learning to Flow
Spiritual Life Coaching
This week’s quote:
“When I ask you to LISTEN TO ME and you start giving me advice, you HAVE NOT done what I asked. When I ask you to LISTEN TO ME and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel the way I am feeling, you are trampling on my feelings.
“When I ask you to LISTEN TO ME, please don’t feel that you have to do something to save me or solve my problems. When you try to MAKE me FEEL better, you have failed me, as strange as this may seem to you. I’m asking you to LISTEN TO ME, not talk or do something, but just LISTEN TO ME!
“When you do something for me that I need to do for myself, you contribute to my FEELINGS of inadequacy. When you accept as a simple fact that I’m feeling what I am feeling, no matter how irrational I sound, I can quit trying to convince you and I can go back to understanding why I’m FEELING what I’m FEELING! Please LISTEN TO ME and just duplicate what I said so that I know that you are LISTENING TO ME!”
Author Unknown
“No Two Things…”
When we talk about someone who has hurt us in some way with a friend, quite often we are complaining. When we complain, we are continuing to put energy into the very thought patterns that created the situation in the first place!
We must understand that we are all connected. We are all “God in drag” and the God in the other person is unconsciously reacting to our belief systems to reflect back to us what we most need to heal.
Despite what we may think, they are not just doing something to upset us. They are doing the best they can with their own set of life challenges and it is not their job to please us.
As long as we focus on “what is” by blaming someone else for our situation, we are denying that we are the Divine beings creating this situation. We continue to affirm we are powerless to change it and reaffirm that only by the other person changing will the situation improve.
A friend can be your Spiritual Partner as well. They can learn to validate your feelings so you can first release this energy from your life.
Validation means to “give value to” and by giving value to your feelings, no matter how irrational they may sound to others, you are able to feel what you are feeling, accept it and let it go.
“No two things can occupy the same space at the same time” so it is only after you release the thoughts and feelings about what you do not want, do you create a space to imagine what you do want!
“Tips for Responsibility Communication”
1. All parties must commit to the process. They must recognize and acknowledge that they are the only ones who can actually feel their own feelings and as such it is their responsibility to heal them.
2. Focus on healing first. This means to share what you are feeling with your partner, why and when your earliest memory is of feeling this way. Your partner’s role is to listen to you, to duplicate what you are saying and to empathize with how you are feeling.
3. Focus on where you feel the emotion in your body. Breathe into it. Visualize breathing in warm, white light into the part of the body where you feel it. See the energy as a fog that you are forcefully exhaling…such as a Pranayamic breath.
4. Allow your partner to share what he/she is feeling and repeat the process with them.
5. Acknowledge the difference in how this worked for you versus your skirmishes in the past and talk about how to make this even better in the future.
6. Celebrate your results!
© Jeffrey L. Scholl, 2009. All rights reserved.
LTF Weekly Newsletter Feb. 22nd, 2009
Posted by learning | Filed under Law of Attraction, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Relationships
“Is Your Relationship on Autopilot?”
“Everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room, every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”
– Indian Proverb
If we want our career to grow, we work at it…but quite often after we have been in a relationship for awhile, we go on autopilot. We think that having the relationships WAS the goal and that if it is not giving us what we want out of it, then we just have to make the best of it.
Most of us never had a model for how to reinvent our relationship over and over…how to keep it exciting and adventurous. Most of us left that behind in our courtship.
But if we don’t put any focus on it, it will grow stagnant.
Write down three ways you can enliven your relationship today…and then act on them!
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Mignon McLaughlin
“Magical Beliefs”
Magical beliefs are “positively charged negative beliefs.” This means that we have attached a feeling like happiness or joy to the fulfillment of our emotional dependency needs by someone else. We think thoughts like, “I’ll feel loved when I get married” or “I’ll marry a man who will take care of me.”When we don’t get our needs met in childhood, we create a fantasy of a person or situation that will fulfill all of our wants, needs and desires. And when our relationship does not match our inner fantasy, we blame the person or tell ourselves that we picked the wrong mate.
“Your mind uses magical beliefs to emotionally escape when your relationships trigger feelings that make you feel ignored, abandoned, frightened, abused or misunderstood. Magical beliefs make you feel as if your safety and security is dependent on another person. Magical beliefs create short-term imaginary gain for long-term real world pain.” – Self-Mastery: A Journey Home to Your Self
When I become conscious of my magical beliefs, I could easily understand where they came from and more alarmingly to me…see how they had manifested many times in various relationships. It was painful for me to realize how I had unconsciously created the same thing over and over again. I understood why my ego had not wanted to look at this before. Also in finally feeling not only the disappointment, but the embarrassment and shame that were anchored to these experiences, I was able to release this energy from my life. I had to forgive myself for all of it and give myself permission to let it go.
In doing so though, I became empowered to change my beliefs into what I wanted them to be.
The difference between whether your prince (or princess) has turned into a frog is a matter of perception. – Jeff Scholl
© 2009 Jeffrey L. Scholl. All rights reserved.